Recap...

So it has been a while... sorry! Life has been pretty busy this whole year seems to have been insane. First, a year ago July 1st Shelby pasted away and was buried on the 6th, that was not fun or pleasant but she is happy where she is and we know we will be with her for eternity. Well the emotional after maths of that event were not fun either... if anyone knows me they know that when I'm not happy I have no problem eating whatever I want whenever I want... well in the end this lead to a lot of weight gain.
Secondly, to top off everything else, Travis and I got pregnant in January, we were happy about it but at the same time were having a hard time not knowing what it would be like to have another child but still really wishing we had Shelby in other words I don't think we were ready... well Heavenly Father must have thought so too because I ended up having a miscarriage the very end of March and ended up having to get a DNC because nothing was coming out and my placenta was still growing, for what reason the don't know, but the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks but my placenta had progressed to about 15. With our history they really wanted to know what went wrong so they tested the DNA (or as Dr Evans put it "the proof is in the pudding") and found that it was another chromosome problem but unrelated to Turner's Syndrome, which is actually pretty common. And then after all of this 3 days latter we went on a week long vacation to California with Travis's parents... needless to say I was probably the most uncomfortable I've been in my life, minus what I felt like right after my C-Section, I wasn't the most social or the most grateful on the trip and for this I want to apologize, it wasn't fair to Travis, my wonderful in-laws, or the extended family we stayed with, I'm sorry.
Well after all the life went on (all be it a few pints of blood lighter!) And after Shelby's one year birthday I decided to take control... I went on a diet and started exercising a lot more... I now write to you 35 pounds lighter than my previous post. Yes yes I know that's great but trust me I still have a ways to go to get back to were I want to be, but I am very happy with the results thus far.
Thirdly, (yes I know you wouldn't think there could be more but there is!) My Grandmother passed away June 21, my dad's mom. This was sad but happy at the same time, she had been sick for some time and had been waiting to reunite with her eternal companion for some time and I am sure beyond any doubt that they are together and happy. The really sad part of this is that when I heard the news... I was jealous... not of the dying part but of what I know she can do after death...She can be with Shelby. Don't freak out, I don't wish could die or anything and honestly can't explain why this was the first emotional respond I had. Well anyways we went down to Utah for the funeral which was planned one week before Shelby exactly, so exactly 51 weeks a part from each other. She was buried next to her wonderful husband, who Shelby is buried right on the other side. So yes the burial wasn't exactly that fun for us because there were so many similarities but it was beautiful and it was so great to hear all of the wonderful and touching stories about her from all 7 of her children, my grandmother was an extraordinary women, educated, a great mother and an amazing wife, you can follow this link to her obituary and read more about her www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=eleanor-love&pid=143741240
Finally, I've been very stressed about my dad lately... a few days before grandma passed away he had surgery to reconnect his bicep which he tore trying to lift a hot tub. And then a few days ago decides while still not having use of his left arm to climb on to the back of the boat, which when out of the water is pretty far off the ground, well he loses balance and falls, hitting the chain link fence on the way down. After the paramedics, yet another trip to the hospital and a cat scan latter, they discover he has aneurysms on his aorta and will probably have to have surgery on that too. Man I am just sick of loved ones being sick, I think in my mind the only thing it leads to is death, once again I know it's nonsensical but I mean look at the history! I love my dad and want him to be around and I think NEED him to be around for a long time, I need him to be there for our other children just like he was for Shelby, I just need him.
So after the novel I've just written just to recap, this year has been crazy! Also no judging me because some of the things I said, no I do not wish to die, I am very happy living and can't wait to continue to grow our family when the time is right and I honestly could not dream of being separated from Travis. But seriously even though it may not sound like it we've had some amazing times this past year, Shelby of course was worth every heart ache because she also taught us what perfect love is and has built our testimonies in a way no other experience ever could. But we love our ward and where we are at right now, we have tons of friends and plenty of great times! We are actually very happy with life, doesn't the gospel just make things good?!